I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
