Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
