Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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