you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I cut my penus on the lid.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
