garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
