Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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