my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
