Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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