there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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