your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
