I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
