Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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