Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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