we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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