He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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