dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
