im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
