this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Randomize
