I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Warsπ
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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