and she was petting her beer can
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
