Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
