Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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