Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
