Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
