I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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