I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
