these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
