we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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