she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
