Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
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