dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
3pm strippers are depressing
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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