there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
