That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
