Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
