im drinking this country out of the recession.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
