So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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