do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
