There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
