Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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