Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
