honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
