We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
