i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
