He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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