found the other keg... it's in the tree
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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