Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
