i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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