OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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