similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
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