My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
